BODOHHH , shittttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOII IQBAL , KO XGETI2 NK PULANGKAN NSET AQ PE!! DAH KO PINJAM , SO BUAD LA CARA PINJAM, JGN BUAD HARTA , BODOH !!!

LAMA2 AQ MENYAMPAH NGN KO LA WEIII!! ASE NK BGI PENYEPAK JEA KAT KO!! DAMMNNNNNNNNNNNN

I'm guilty

hurmmm . aq ase bersalah gle ngn BiBi ,
sbb kn aq dy susah skg .
sbb kn aq dy tension skg ,
sbb kn aq jg dy kne lalui smua nie .

bibi syg mnta maaf ,
Ya Allah  , kesian sy tgk km bibi .
terlampau banyak benda km korban kn tuk sy .
n skg , km dlam kesusahan . tp sy xley nk tlg sikit pon .
im so sorry .

Realize

smlm aq gado teruk ngn BiBi . ish2 .

but at that time, i juz realize ,

kalu aq sgt2 takut kehilangan dy , kalu aq sgt2 takut dy balik kat ex-wife dy . 

time tu jga la bru aq sedar , kalu aq terlalu menyayangi dy . 

jujur . sbnr nye aq xske kalu dy still contact ngn ex wife dye . sbb aq tkt klu2 cinta lma tu berputik kembali .

Ya Allah bri kan lah semangat buad q, 

smoga yg di rencanakan berjalan dengan smoothly . 

BiBi , sy syg sgt ngn BiBi , hope BiBi tw tu . :'( 

the day with him .

OMG BiBi skg dah kat Malaysia . so excited when i meet him for the first time after 7 years . !! he look damn cute . seriously . yea even not so cute like the other but he the only one sweeter then the other. hahaha .ape yg aq merepek nie . --' 

sgt2 happy ble dpat jumpa bibi . xtw nk explain cmne perasaan aq nie . hahahaha . n yg sgt2 buad aq terkejut, 1st meet dy dh bg aq nset ! goshh . malu gle . ape pown thnx a lot bibi for da blackberry . XD 

happy sgt2 . haiyaakk . angau suda aq . --' 

hurmmm ntah bla la blh jumpa dy lg . 

2bln lg kot . lama gle --' xpe2 kalu jumpa terlalu kerap ti aq lak yg naek bosan . hehehe . 

thnx for da present . XD

slma 2hari aq spend time ngn dy . aq ase happy sgt2 . terasa sgt2 di cintai ngn dy . ha la mna x nye . dy sanggup datang malaysia juz nk jumpa aq ! n sanggup buad ape jea tuk aq . ! smua tu dah terbukti law dy btl2 syg ngn aq . i should tke serious bout him now . dy dah banyak berkorban tuk aq . thanx bibi for loving me . thanx for everything bibi . 

u can't be replace

nich lagu bnr2 ceritain soal aq . n gmna keadaan aq skg . damn it aq bnr2 g bsa berhenti menangis . 

emg bnr2 susah buad q ngelupain dy . g taw napa nich malam aq rasa rindu q ma dy g sprti biasa na . aq terlalu merindui kehadiran dy d hidup q lagi . sejujur nya aq msh mengharapkan kehadiran dy lg d hidup q.
sejujur nya dy gak bsa tergantikan . smua kenangan tentang dya msh tersimpan dgn rapi d dalam memory q .
aq terlalu mencintai dan menyayangi dy . aq syg ma dy . aq merindui saat2 bersama ma dya . aq sgt2 merinduinya. ABDUL RAHMAN WAHID selamanya km akn d hati q walaupun km bukan milik q lagi .

Ex boyfriend

hahaha tetibe aq ase macam nk list down name2 ex2 aq . nie name nye mmg dah xde keje , so buad jea la keje bodo aq nie .hahaha
so start dr couple 1st aq smpi yg skg , n tempoh aq kapel skli .

1. Andi Wisudawan (4bulan)
2. Miswan(2bulan)
3. Ezzat(3bualn)
4. Taufik(1bulan)
5. Roy (8bulan)
6. Yoyon (4tahun)
7. Sirajjudin(1bulan)
8. Arif Setiawan Budi (4bulan)
9. Zaky (1tahun)
10. Abdul Rahman Wahid(3tahun)
11. Fery Firmansyah (1bulan)
12. Rudy (1minggu)
13. Teguh (xingt bpe bulan)
14. Robie Maulana (1tahun)
15. Mohd iqbal (2bulan)
16. Irul (1bulan) 
17. Sirajjudin (now) 

uittss banyak juga . tu yg aq igt , ade beberapa yg aq xigt . so xmsuk dlm list sbb lupe nama dorg . hahahaha XD

Darl where R u ?

hurmmm dah 3 hari Mr Iqbal menyepi dr aq .
aq xtaw npe aq tertunggu2 msge n kol dr dy .
before this aq ok jea even xcontact dy berhari2, berminggu2 or berbulan2 .
tp skg nie .
bru 3 hri ,  aq dah mencari2 kelibat dy . hurmm ntah kmna la dak nie .
ego aq terlalu tinggi nk msge or call dy dlu . >.<
tp ble aq xcntct ,  aq tercari2 .
ble aq cntct mcm aq terhegeh2 kat dy . ewwww no way!!

ape yg q nk sebenarnye nie .
Ajuk+Iqbal and ++++ .....
tapi siyes .
aq tertunggu2 dy msge aq .
aq tertunggu2 dy call aq .
tiap minit aq tgk enset aq .
mn taw aq xsedar dy call . siap aq check volume phone aq . takut slow sgt bunyi tu .
dah mcm org gla pon ade aq nie --' sabo jea la ...

new beginning

hey hey hey
hahahah . its been 3.45am n im still awake . hahaha cant sleep lorhh . so i've turn my mood to update my blog .
erm wat i'm gonna story diz morning yea . blurr . tetttt . --'

lets start my story about Mr iqbal!!
wat i'm gonna say bout diz guy is . SUCKS!!
hahahahha . its been 2 day my phone doesn't get any msge from him .
where hve u been huh ? still alive or die already --'
seems like i've been missing him damn much . hurmm . --' should avoid diz feeling before it getting worst .
yeahhh i miss him damn much!! hufffttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think its time for me to get back like usual , which is not gonna text n call him anymore . juz text when he text me

second story . hurmmmm . Mr Ajuk
my boyfriend . another 13day he will come 2 meet me .
at first im not so exited . but i dont know why . diz morning i feel so exited . cant wait to meet him .
wkwkwkwkw .  BiBi im waiting you .

last thing is!!
im started to take serious my relationship with ajuk .
-THE END-

tension

seriously . aq xase exited sikit pon ko nk datang . aq xtaw la npe ngn aq .
aq ase cm xblh nk go on pon ade . haisshhh .
nk berterus terang tp xbrni nk cakp
but seriously aq ase cam xde feel lg dah kat lelaki .
aq ase cam xde feel nk berdating n berkapel tuk sementara nie .
aq xde ase sume tu . aq xhappy da skg!!
hufffftttttttttttttttt .
xde sorg pon ley paham ap yg aq nk skg . hufffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

confused

aq xtaw npe aq x exited ble dgr dy nk dtg malaysia . 

aq xtaw npe aq ase kosong skg . bnyk bnda dah brlaku kat hidup aq . 

aq xtaw npe aq still sedih ble tgk win ngn faizat . aq btl2 xley nk tpu perasaan aq . kalu aq sedih .

aq pon xley nk tpu perasaan aq law aq still xley nk lupakan faizat .

aq pon xley nk tpu law aq pon sakit hati ngn si iqbal . 

aq xtaw npe aq tertunggu2 msge  iqbal 

aq xtaw npe aq ase sakit ble tgk dy ngn awek dy . 

aq benci sgt ngn diri aq yg skg . 

aq xtaw ap yg aq nk skg . 

aq ase mcm xhappy skg . 

yeah aq mmg xhappy skg . 

smiling outside , broken inside . 

aq nk kehidupan aq yg dulu . 

aq nk diri aq yg dulu . 

aq nk smua na . 

aq nk kn diri aq dlu ble dgn wahid . 

aq xnk diri aq yg skg . 

aq xnak . aq xnak . aq xnak .

aq x happy . sejujur nye aq mmg xhappy .   :'(

. kegilaan gwiyeoun fyana .

ok hari nich aq ngah ade mud nk update blog aq .
bnyak benda dah berlaku sejak kebelakangan nich .
smpi xterkate la .
1st tetibe iqbal muncul balik dalam hidup aq . tetibe cri aq kat umah sewa .
2nd si deen busy memanjang smpikan xde mase buad aq .
3rd win n faizat officially declare . haiyakkk = ='

terlampau banyak cite smpi kan aq xtaw nk start citer dr mn .
yg dahsyat nye . terlampau tension . aq membawa dri aq pi genting . tenang sikit kepala otak aq . then blk dr genting jea aq dah blh senyum mcm biasa . hahaha . (psst kejap jea pastu gado lak ngan si deen ) haiyaakk .
gado sebab aq terkantoi kuar berdua ngn Mr Q . so dy marah2 . hahaha . blh x aq ckap . LANTAK LA . yg penting aq happy . hahaha (^^,)v

ble dah turun dr genting bru aq sedar . eh aq xamek pic pown. --'
so yg sempat 2 pic nie jea la aq amek . hahahahah . at least ade jga gmbr kenangan kat genting . kikiki .

cakk . muka penat bru balik dr genting . (^^,)v

muka kepenatan Mr Q  . .hahahah kesian dy ...

kepastian yang membingungkan

ya allah . bnyak bgt dugaan yg km berikan ke aq y allah . .
apa yg perlu aq lakuin skg?
perlukah aq bersuara . ato mendiam kan dri ?
perlukah aq meninggalkannya . ?
sanggup kah aq tuk kehilangan dya ?

sllu jea datang dugaan . .
aq taw km ma dy pernah hidup bareng . .
tp skg kalian tuh udah cerai . .
yea aq bs ngerti km ma dy g akan lost contact . .
n aq jga bsa ngerti kalian ttp jd temen..
tp kalu kalian temen. .buad cara kyk temen dnk..

n buad km ajuk . .
sblm aq nerima km jd cowo aq .
bnyak bgt jji2 km ubarin ke aq .
tp stlh aq trima km . knp km kek gnie ?
km seakan g pedli ma aq. .
yea aq ngrti km sbk ma kerja km . .
tp km bsa jea tuh hub dia stiap hri . .
tp aq ? kalu aq diam . .km jg diam .
ap maksd km nich?

kalo gnie cara na. .tolong beri aq waktu buad mikirn jalan terbaek tuk hubungan qt . .
n aq jg mo km mikir ap yg km ingin kan . .antara aq @ dy . .
aq g ngelarang km contact ma dy .  tp km jg harus taw batas dnk . antara teman . .
jgn salah kan aq . kalo sikap q bsa berubah ke km na . .

dear ALLAH

dear ALLAH..

i'm begging you..

to give some happiness for me..

to give some light for me..

keep praying to ALLAH..

to give some strength for me..

there is a lot thing i cant handle 

to much pressure..

to much problem..

one by one..

problem comes and go..

when the problem will stop coming to my life..

YA ALLAH...

i hope i can be patient like my dad..

always think positive in her life..

but it not me at all..

but i believe every test that ALLAH gave to me..

Allah want me to learn n become more matured 

broken once again..

nama na irul.. dy lah cowo pertama yg bnr2 bsa bkin aq berubah dalam sekelip mata n dya lah cow pertama yg bsa bikin aq bener2 jatuh ampe g bsa bgun lg..dy lah cowo yg bener2 bsa bikin aq gila kayak skg..pernah kah dy taw smua tuh..
pernah g d mkirin soal perasaan q??

aq terlalu mencintai dya..
aq terlalu menyayangi dya..
sangat susah buad q tuk melepaskan dya..
sangat susah buad q melupakan dya..
sangat susah buad q..
tpi dy pernah peduli soal ntu smua..

dy pergi meninggal kn aq..menjauh dr aq.. dy belajr tuk tidak menyayangi aq.. smua nx berlaku dalam sekelip mata..

speechless bla aq liat dy kek gtu... numb.. aq terlalu menyayangi dya,, lebih dari apa pun.. serius.. cinta nich bnr2 membunuh q dalam diam.. aq g pernah merasakan perasaan syg ma org kek gnie.. aq g pernah merasakan jatuh kek gnie..

hurmm.. sedih bgt rasa na..
yeahh i give up already..
jikalau aq mempertahankan hubungan nich..
blm tentu dy mo mempertahankan hubungan nich..

dya masih dengan pendirian nya.. tuk tetap pergi meninggalkan aq.. menjauhi aq.. lari dari q.. n g akan melihat kebelakang walaupun sedikit.. sedangkan aq d belakang nya udh jatuh berkali2, badan q penuh dengan luka2 karna jatuh mengerjar dya.. setiap kali q bangun n kejar dy. aq psti jatuh,, mungkin dah saat nya buad q merelakan dya.. walau aq g ikhlas buad melepaskan dya.. thnx udh pernh hadir d hidup q walau cma bntr.. thnx dah menyakiti and buad aq jatuh tuk slama2 nx.. makasih bgt.. (T_T)

nich lagu buad km irul..